I need a girls night or a date night or something. Tired of not having any fun. And being antisocial. I’m a leo dammit! When did i become such a hermit?…. Again…
I need to break this cycle. I need to stop trying to fix something that i was clearly Told that I have no chance at fixing.
I need to start putting myself first more often and move on.
But its oh so difficult when you live under the same roof as the person that wants you gone but doesnt have it in him to kick you to the streets because he DOES actually have a heart… its just not open to me.
Eh fine. Its what i wanted back then anyway right? Now i just have to work on getting myself independent.
I’m working now so… That’s a start. But its still minimum wage and who can live on that alone?
Most rentals you have to prove you make 3x the rent to even be considered. And if your lucky to find a cheap one its still about $500 in rent. Plus car insurance and remember gas money. Phone? Well, right now im not paying my own phone bill thanks to the “paper hubby”😂. I call him “paper hubby” because he’s only my husband on paper. Being “seperated” and all…
Anyway. Lets do guestimates.
For a single person making min wage. Don’t quote me cause i could be way off.
Car insurance $150 (about what i pay)
Gas for the week $50ish
Food. Omg food is expensive. ESPECIALLY if you want to eat healthy. Sad it cost more to buy healthy foods then it is the not-so-healthy foods.
But remeber we are on a min budget here. So lets say for a single person.. ??? $120 for food? How much food could you get with $120 these days and how long does it last? (Honestly idk. I have lived in a family of 4 for the past 8 years so… Like i said, guestimates.
Electricity ugh. I’ll just stop at food and pretend utilities are paid at this particular pretend $500 place.
500(rent)+150(insur.) =650+200(gas 50 a week)
=850+200 (food at 100 every two weeks)= 1050
Min wage is 8.25 an hour. Fulltime is 40 hours a week about 330 (gross) × 4 weeks= 1320-1050(bills)= $70
$70 left but that’s before net pay and there are still other misc necessities, bills, fees that life brings you.
In the end You are left in the negative somehow.
So my point I’m trying to make is that it’s pretty expensive to live with no help, off min. wage/full time work on your own in the first place.
And I have two kids to think about too, whether they live with me fulltime or not.
I’m truely greatful to the “paper hubby” for being a good enough person to “let me” stay until i can get on my own feet…
I’m just worried how long that’ll actually take. Expecially since i feel like I’m stuck where I’m not wanted.
Yeah I’m wanted by my kids of course! And i absolutly😍😍 love and adore them and thats what makes me stick through this. Because at least I have them and they are why i havent off-ed myself (from marriage or life).
But it’s still not the same. It’s still lonely. When you need an adult person to talk to that actually cares about you and not just treating you like your a burden on their soul just by speaking.
But seriously…. I really do need some adult fun time. 😥
Eh. Whatever. I’ll just go smoke and shower now.